When I was a kid, the only frozen pizza varieties available to us were Mama Celeste, Red Baron, Tombstone, and Stouffer's French Bread pizza.
My old man used to get late night snack attacks for pizza much like I do. and would often run out to whatever store was open to grab a couple frozen pizzas. He'd bring them home and "doctor them up" by adding more cheese and toppings.
Sometimes when the only available option was Stouffer's, he would bring three or four boxes of those home.
I ran across these in the freezer aisle the other day and had to grab them for a review. I really could not remember what they tasted like, as it's been at least 30 plus years since I've eaten them.
I love reviewing decades old products like this after so long, because it's as if I've been totally removed from them. I remember enjoying these French bread pizzas as a kid. That being said, I enjoyed anything loosely resembling pizza back then.
I was surprised to see the full sized pepperoni slices, as the box showed quartered slices of pepperoni. While there were a few like that, most appeared to be full slices. But more on that in a bit.
The Crust
Every bit like French bread through and through.. albeit a bit more dense, most likely from the freezing process. It definitely kept the sauce from seeping into the bread for sure.
The Sauce
Very appealing to the eye, with herbs visible in the sauce. It was more sweet than I personally like my pizza sauce to be. The ratio of sauce was pretty good though, neither soaking into the bread or being spread too thin.
The Cheese
The package boasted these are made with 100% real cheese. While this appeared to be the case, I didn't find it to melt very efficiently, but it was hot to the touch when I checked it after 18 minutes.
I almost popped it back into the oven for a couple more minutes, but the crust was so perfectly cooked, I didn't want to take the chance of burning it.
Not sure if this was a mozzarella blend or what, but I really couldn't taste the cheese once the flavor of the sauce and pepperoni kicked in.
The Pepperoni
I was expecting to see quartered pieces of pepperoni like the ones displayed on the front of the box, so I was happy to see full round slices on the pizzas.
However, as I took a closer look, they indeed appeared to be quartered.. sort of. It looked like the pepperoni cutting machine cut the pieces about 85% of the way through, leaving the centers un-chopped.
This left the round pieces intact for the most part. I didn't mind, and wondered if I perhaps was a lucky recipient of more pepperoni, due to a machine at the factory going haywire.
Retro Pizza rating..
(as far as frozen French bread pizza goes)
2 out of 5 Slices
You very well might like this French bread pizza more than I did. And, I may have given it a slightly higher rating if the sauce wasn't so sweet and the cheese was more flavorful.
All in all however, I would say Stouffer's makes a respectable French bread pizza as far as frozen pizza goes.
These pizzas have been around since the 1970s, so they're obviously good enough to have stood the test of time thus far. Would I buy them again? I wouldn't go out of my way to do so, but I would eat them again.
They are enough like homemade French Bread Pizza, and will curb a snack attack of the pizza kind. Plus, at just under $4.00 a box, they are definitely a great value. Maybe next time, I could try "doctoring them up" as dear old Dad used to. If I do so, I'll make sure to share the results here.