I truly feel for people who have a birthday during the thick of this pandemic. For anyone who has a
milestone birthday during this mess, you have my condolences. As for me, I turned 50 yesterday, and it was a pretty melancholy day. I really can't complain though. I had my entire immediate family with me all day, and it was pretty much a chill stress free day at home. We have our health, each other, and are still holding strong. Truly, things can always be worse, so I am very blessed.
I grew up not celebrating birthdays, so I think that the paramount occasion and importance of it all is lost on me. I definitely am not one who would plan out a whole day, week, or month of events for my own birthday. In fact, I feel downright uncomfortable celebrating my own birthday to tell you the truth. I know it's simply a result of my upbringing, and that making it through another year of life should definitely be cause for celebration, but it just feels weird to me.My family is kind of in the same boat. They too were raised for much of their lives not celebrating birthdays, so it only makes sense that celebrating their birthday or someone else's just doesn't come naturally. Now some of my friends are pros through and through, and exude happiness, merriment, and delight for their friends birthdays, but we very well can't gather with friends right now.
We were actually supposed to be on a cruise this weekend, but that was cancelled last month. Now that I think of it, little pangs of this hopeless feeling started creeping in around that time, slowly building up until I woke up with a feeling of slight sadness yesterday. I couldn't shake that weird feeling during my birthday, and it's still lingering a bit today. 50 years is a milestone birthday. It's one of those birthdays that is flat out monumental, like your 18th, 21st, 30th, and 40th. Now it has come and gone, there was not much special about it, and I will never get that day back.
I'm not going to focus on this void I'm feeling for very long. There will be other occasions to celebrate, more fun times to be had, and life will move on. I'm not the only person in this boat. It's this lousy virus and lockdown that has made for a cruddy 2020 thus far, and I have to remember that we can't control it. I can adjust my attitude however, and in turn be happier. One thing is for sure, the parties and celebrations people will be enjoying after we are on the other side of this mess, will in themselves be monumental!