When Did Fast Food Stop Being Fast?

 This morning I was sitting in the parking lot at Bojangles waiting for two BO-Berry biscuits.

Two.

Not a family meal. Not twenty sandwiches. Not some complicated special order with seventeen modifications.

Just two biscuits.

And as I pulled up to the drive thru window after already waiting in line, I heard those dreaded words that anybody who eats fast food has come to hate:

"Can you pull ahead and we'll bring it out shortly?"

Good Lord, how I've come to loathe that phrase.

Maybe my memory is failing me, but I grew up in the 1970s and 1980s and became an adult in the 1990s, and I honestly don't remember being told to pull ahead and wait for food every other time I went through a drive thru.

Back in the day they'd take your order, take your money, hand you your food, and you'd drive away.

That was the whole concept.

Fast food.

Now they take your money and then send you into a parking lot with no clue whether you're going to be waiting two minutes or twenty.

As I write this, I've been sitting here for over nine minutes waiting for two biscuits with a little icing drizzled on top.

Somehow this has become normal.

In fact, many chains have built it right into the business model. There are entire sections of parking lots now dedicated to people who have already ordered, already paid, and are now waiting.

Can we even call it fast food anymore?

Maybe we should call it "pay first and we'll get around to it eventually food."

What irritates me most is that the customer is expected to absorb all the inconvenience.

You wait in line to order..
You wait in line to pay..
Then you're told to pull into a parking space and wait some more.

Maybe you've only got fifteen minutes before work, or you're running errands. Maybe you just wanted a quick coffee and breakfast sandwich. Well that's a shame. Because now your schedule belongs to the drive thru.

And don't even get me started on mobile ordering apps.

When those first came out, I thought they were going to be revolutionary. I remember thinking, "This is fantastic. I'll order ahead, show up, grab my food, and be on my way." Boy was I wrong.

Half the time you place your order fifteen or twenty minutes in advance, drive to the restaurant, and they don't even start preparing it until you arrive.

Then they send you to one of those designated waiting spots while they finish making the food you ordered twenty minutes ago.

How exactly is that progress?

One place that actually seems to understand convenience is Little Caesars.

I place my order on the app, I choose a pickup time, and when the pizza is ready, I get a notification. I simply walk in, enter my code at the Pizza Portal, the little door pops open, I grab my pizza, and I'm gone.

No waiting.

No guessing.

No sitting in a parking lot staring at my dashboard wondering if they've forgotten about me.

That's what technology is supposed to do.

That's what automation is supposed to accomplish.

It's supposed to make life easier.

It's supposed to streamline the process.

Instead, a lot of modern fast food feels like it's been optimized for the restaurant instead of the customer.

The wait hasn't disappeared, it's just been moved.

What's funny is that this whole trend has actually helped me cut back on fast food.

There have been plenty of times I've driven past a restaurant, thought about stopping for a quick bite, saw the line wrapped around the building, and decided it simply wasn't worth the hassle.

Nothing makes a burger less appealing than realizing you're about to spend half your lunch break trying to get it.

Maybe that's the silver lining.

The older I get, the less patience I have for sitting around in parking lots waiting on food that was supposed to be fast in the first place.

We were told technology would save us time. Instead, we're checking apps, entering codes, scanning QR menus, creating accounts, tracking orders, and sometimes still sitting in a parking lot waiting for a sandwich.

If all this technology is supposed to save time, why does it feel like I'm spending more time than ever just trying to buy lunch? Maybe it’s time I slow down and stop expecting the food I order to be fast all the time. Lately I've been skipping it more and more, so maybe I should lean into that. Heck.. Might even make me healthier, and probably a little more patient in the long run.

Geez I'm gettin' old

As a kid, I never thought I'd utter these words, but I must admit.. I use the phrase "Geez I'm getting Old" more and more with every passing day year.  Here are some things that have come to fruition this year, which made me realize I'm no longer a spring chicken..

• I often wake up more sore than I was when I went to bed the night before.
  
  
  
• I get excited when I find coupons that will save me two dollars or more off of a meal.
  
  
  
• I dig Old Spice aftershave. 
  Plain and simple, the stuff works great (it must.. because it's been around for over 70 years)  It does a great job of tightening up your skin after a shave, and heads off rash and razor burn.  I no longer have an aversion to the scent like I did when I was younger.  Mainly, I didn't like the idea of wearing the same fragrance as my Dad, or men over the age of forty. While I'm still abstaining from switching over to this retro scent, now that I'm a Dad of a certain age.. the thought really doesn't bother me any longer.
  
  
  
• I don't mind talking about certain subjects with my buddies
  
  Things that used to be embarrassing for young guys to talk about, no longer bother me and my friends.  Colonoscopies, bowel movements, physical ailments, you name it.  Ten years ago I would have thought this was crazy, but suddenly its no big deal to me and the guys to chat about this kind of stuff.  Misery loves company I guess.
  
  
  
• Cold weather is starting to really bug me
  
  Sudden changes in the barometer makes my knee hurt, and the winter months do a number on my sinuses and back.  I'd be perfectly happy taking up residence in Florida immediately.  update.. it's now 2017 and I made it to Sunny Florida!
  
  
• I start more and more sentences with
  
  "Back in the day.."
  
  The newer alternative to "Back in my day.." or "Back in the old days".  I feel old when I use it, but it's usually warranted, and followed by absolute fact, or eye opening stories for the young whipper snappers of today.
  
  
  
• I get irritated when lights are left on
  
  I swear I'm turning into my old man!  It truly bothers me when someone leaves a light on and is not using it.
  
   

I could go on and on, but at the risk of sounding twenty years older than I actually am.. I'm going to stop for now.  How about you?  Are you surprising yourself with changes in attitude and philosophy as you get older?  Are you fighting the inclination to yell GET OFF MY LAWN to kids passing by? If so, I'd love to hear about it.  After all.. misery loves company.

Older is better! Example #125.. Manners

Holy Moly, I could write a book on the subject of manners. Like many from my generation, I was taught about manners from a very young age. What I didn't learn from my parents I learned in etiquette classes at school. My how times have changed! I try not to be pessimistic, but it seems like manners, etiquette, and yes.. even common decency, all seem to be falling by the wayside amongst young and old alike.

I usually try to refrain from using my blog as a platform to vent, but there are things I've seen in the last few years that I just can't get out of my head. Maybe I can find solace by talking about them here. I know I can't be the only one that notices these disturbing trends. Here are just a few examples that prove to me, just how far our society has fallen manner-wise.


Holding a door open for someone
I don't expect anyone to hold a door open for me. People lead busy lives and have lots on their minds, so I can't hold it against anyone who doesn't do so for me.  I however, choose to make a conscience effort to do so whenever possible.   If I am already entering a building, I will gladly pause for a few seconds so someone won't have to open the door themselves. I also make a point to step aside and let women and senior citizens enter a building before myself.

I must give credit for my manners to my parents, particularly my old man. I remember Dad instructing me to open doors for mothers with children in tow, and for senior citizens back when I was only five years old. He never had to explain why I should do so, it was just something "I got".

When I see a senior citizen, my mind starts to wander. What kinds of heartache, joy, or trials and tribulations have they endured during their lifetime? Their lives are truly something to be admired, and they deserve our respect and honor. As for women, they should be regarded as precious, and need to be treasured for no other reason than because they are women.

That being said, let me share what happened to me twice in recent months while holding the door for someone. The first was at the post office one afternoon. I had four boxes in one arm and was opening the door with the other. As I readied to enter the building, I noticed two women getting ready to exit, so I stepped aside and held the door open for them. Both looked me straight in the eye, shot me a nasty glare, and walked by without saying a word.  As the second woman walked by, I heard something faintly hit the ground. It was a couple of envelopes and a book of stamps. I quickly said "Ma'am.. you dropped something." The woman turned around, first looked at me.. and then at the ground where I was pointing, as I held the door open with my elbow.

The woman let out a deep sigh similar to what I'd hear from my kids when I ask them to empty the dishwasher. She walked back into the building, quickly snatched the envelopes from the doorway, turned around, and walked off without uttering a single word to me. Let me clarify that I don't expect a "thank you" for holding a door open for someone, but I thought it was pretty rude in this particular case not to even acknowledge me.  For a second I thought maybe these ladies didn't speak English, until one called to the other and said "What was it?" the other replied non nonchalantly, "My credit card bills and stamps".

The second situation took place at a restaurant with my family of five. From the window, we could see there was already a line forming in front of the cash register. My son held the door open for us as we prepared to enter, when I noticed an elderly couple about twenty feet away slowly approaching. I instructed my kids to step aside and let them enter before us. As they walked past us, there was no acknowledgment to my son for holding the door open, and that was perfectly fine.. no harm done.

When we were ready to enter the building, the gentlemen err.. man stepped back into the doorway so we couldn't pass. He then motioned for the rest of his family to join him. His family was just getting out of their car, which was a good fifty feet away in the parking lot. What was really amusing, is that he didn't look at any of us the entire time he waited for his family. He just kept yelling.. "Hurry up.. Hurry up.. it's filling up in here!!"

I kept wondering.. "How does he think this door is staying open?" But the story gets better. As his family of eight casually walked up to the door, each and every one of them ignored us as well! They obviously saw us holding the door for them and dear old dad, and that we were waiting to enter the restaurant as well. I could do nothing else but shake my head, laugh, and think.. "Wow.. that's one big gene pool of rudeness."

I'm not going to lie. There's been many times that I've thought "That's the last time I hold a door open for anyone!" But who am I kidding.. I'm not going to let rude people change me for the worse. Imagine how the world would be if everyone took this attitude.



Respect for the Dead
I was driving home a couple of years ago on a little side road, when I noticed a funeral procession approaching. I was in the process of turning onto the road from a cross street, so I immediately pulled over, removed my hat, and waited for them to pass. Funeral processions always make me take pause, and focus on what a great gift life is.  What I saw next was something that made my stomach turn. I was parked in front of an International House of Pancakes, and noticed a two door Honda coupe readying to exit the parking lot. I assumed he was going to wait for the procession to pass as well, but apparently wherever he had to go was more important than waiting a minute or so for them to pass by.

This moron peels out of the parking lot at full speed, narrowly squeezing between the passenger side fender of the hearse, and the broadside of a car that was also parked and waiting for the funeral procession to pass. You could noticeably see the hearse hit its brakes and swerve to the left, resulting in the family's cars directly behind it having to brake hard as well. What's more.. it was one of those "customized" cars with a big spoiler, tacky paint job, glittered window tint, and obnoxious muffler that made the car sound like a sick bumble bee.

As the idiot sped off in front of the procession, I sat there horrified wondering how the family must have felt. Here they are on the way to a loved ones burial, the only one there will ever be for that person.. no chances for do overs. It's already a somber occasion, and the family didn't need any more sadness, or aggravation. This idiots actions may have very well traumatized this poor family, or at least made them feel very bitter for years to come.

On a side note, have you noticed how quick people are to joke about the recently deceased? It's no more than a matter of hours that a celebrity can pass away, and jokes start circulating about them. This just doesn't feel right to me, and never has.


Attire
What's happened to us? Look at pre 1970's movies, news reels, pictures from newspapers, and magazines, and you'll notice that most everyone used to dress so much nicer. Now I'm not saying that men should go to baseball games in suits, and women should wear dresses in most social situations. In fact.. I'm all about being comfortable! I adore my flip flops, cargo shorts, bowling shirts, and blue jeans. However, don't go to a nice restaurant, graduation, wedding, or funeral, in Crocs, flannel, or camouflage prints. Unless of course the guests of honor (or deceased) expressly wanted it that way.  If that is the case, by all means knock yourself out!

I could go on and on about situations similar to the ones I've listed, but I think I'm going to wrap it up now. While I do believe there is a serious lack of manners, common decency, and compassion in society, there are also multitudes of good people who are class acts.  People like the man who told me I had dropped my cellphone, the woman who returned my lost wallet, and the little boy who held the door open for me at the mall, give me hope that all is not lost. I guess all I can do, is try and raise my kids to be compassionate and productive members of society, and they in turn will help to make the world a nicer place to live in.

Dagnabbit! It's official.. I'm old.

I had my suspicions, but I guess it's official.  I'm officially old (or at least viewed that way by my kids).



What brought about this most unsettling Epiphany?  Things like this, that my kids have said to me..




Comment #1
"Dad.. did they have music in the 60s?"

Comment #2
"Dad.. was the Television show "Full House" made in the 60s?"

Comment #3
"You and Mom are really old fashioned"


Hmmm.  Being a child of the 70's and 80's, I believe I've seen and experienced much more socially than my kiddo's have at their age.  After all, we used to leave the house to fraternize, play, and explore.  My generations views and beliefs were much more progressive and different than my parents generation.  Heck, now that I think of it.. we too thought our folks were old fashioned.  It just goes to show you how fast things change from generation to generation.

If I'm considered old fashioned, so be it.  I dig my retro ways, and truly believe that older is better in many aspects of life.  Something I truly take comfort and satisfaction from, is knowing that one day my kids will be thought of as old fashioned by their own kiddo's.  Oh how I hope I'm around to see it!

Things that irk a retro Dad..

Here's another post that I can add to the "I'm turning into my Father" file. Certain things that used to get my Dad irritated, used to crack me and my brother up when we were kids. While we didn't understand it back then, it now makes more sense to me as an adult. Heck, many of the same things that ticked him off, are now pet peeves of mine. Here are three standout's that you very well may be familiar with..

"Put the tools back when you're done with them"

Boy did the old man ever get hot under the collar when I failed to return a tool of his after using it. I can hear his lectures right now.. "When you put a tool back where it belongs, it will be there the next time you need it!" or.. "every tool has its place!" Really, how can you argue with that kind of reasoning?

I must admit that when I go to grab a tool and its missing, my blood instantly begins to boil. I immediately start to wonder if my bride or children used my new pliers or screwdriver, to pound yet another nail into the wall. I'll even get mad with myself if I learn the tool is missing by fault of my own. Maybe it's just folks who use tools a lot like myself and my Dad, because I have a few friends who could care less about their arsenal of tools (or lack thereof). I've even found myself getting frustrated at times, when friends of mine were unable to find a tool in their own toolbox or garage. Hmm.. maybe I have a problem.

"Turn that light off!"

Dad used to always get on us for leaving a light switch or radio on when leaving our bedrooms. This is another thing that bugs me when it happens in my house. It's almost like I feel the pennies flying out the door when I see a hall light on, or a television turned on with no one around to watch it.

"Don't leave the water running!"

Whenever washing dishes, shaving, or brushing my teeth within ear shot of my old man, he would often get on me about leaving the water running and say something like "Turn that water on and off instead of letting it run down the drain!"

Now when the kids are brushing their teeth or washing a dish in my house, the sound of running water is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  Sure enough, I can't contain myself and usually tell them something like "Turn the water on and off as you need it, instead of pouring money down the drain!"


Maybe it's embedded in my DNA, or maybe the old man's little life lessons actually got burned into my brain from the endless repetition we endured as kids. I wonder what other quirks I will develop next?  Maybe soon I'll start telling my kids.. "You'll understand what I'm talking about when you're grown and have kids!"   Wait.. I guess I say that already.

Things I miss seeing

by Darrin Vindiola


Fleeting thoughts of the way things used to be, has got me thinking about things I miss seeing.  Here are just a handful of those things..

Phone Booths
What an invention!  If you needed quick access to a phone and you weren't at home, you simply needed ten cents to make a phone call.  The booth made for a quiet, private area to speak, and it even shielded you from the elements!

Shoe Repair shops
If you have a pair of shoes needing repair, finding someone to fix them for you has become a bit harder to do nowadays. My old man had several pairs of shoes when I was a kid that he would always get re-soled and re-heeled.  Visiting the cobbler in addition to regular shoe shines, kept his shoes usable and good looking for decades!  My how times have changed!

Drugstore cafe's and soda fountains
On more than one occasion, I enjoyed a freshly made soda, or food hot off the grill whilst my mother shopped in Walgreen's or Woolworth's drugstores. What's more.. the food was usually pretty good.  Nothing could compare to a fresh patty melt or grilled cheese sandwich fresh off the grill from one of these places! 

Fix-it shops
My folks recently threw away a thirty year old coffee maker because the burner fizzled out.  They gave in and bought a fancy new coffee maker, because they could find no one who could.. or wanted to repair it.  Over the years, they had the burner replaced on their old coffee maker twice.  Once in the 70's, and again in the 80's.  Now in 2010.. the fix-it shop that performed those repairs has been closed for years.  When asked how she liked her new coffee maker, my mom simply replied.. "It doesn't make coffee nearly as good as our old one".

Drive-In movie theater's
I saw the movies ROCKY,  JAWS, and GREASE all at the Drive-In.  I can honestly say that they were all very memorable experiences before, during, and after the movies!  While Drive-In's may not be extinct, they sure are far and few between.  When I was a kid, it seemed like almost every town had a Drive-In.  On a recent 3,000 mile road trip from Colorado to South Padre Island, I didn't see a single solitary Drive-In theater!  Fortunately, existing Drive-In's in the United States seem to be cherished, and many of them are being refurbished and restored to their former glory.

Yes.. I miss seeing all of these things on a regular basis, but when I do encounter them, it's a moving experience that truly makes me long for simpler times.