The Retro Dad

I woke up this morning with a weird feeling. Not bad. Not great. Just off. Out of sorts. The kind of feeling where you know something is different, but it takes a minute to figure out what it is. I used to have a routine on Thanksgiving morning. It was automatic. I would get up early, put on a hoodie, and head over to the convenience store to grab the two biggest newspapers in the area. Not for the news. For the Black Friday ads. That was the real prize. I would grab a coffee, maybe some donuts, and then head home. Once I got back, it was time for the annual mega breakfast. Biscuits and gravy. Bacon. Eggs. Sausage. Hash browns. Pancakes, maybe some grits. It was a once a year kind of breakfast and it always felt like the perfect way to start the day. Then I would spread out the newspapers and start digging through the ads while the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade played in the background. That was my morning. It felt right. It felt like Thanksgiving. Now I look around and no...

When I was a kid back in the '80s.. ShowBiz Pizza Place was a kid’s paradise. Pizza, games, and the Rock-afire Explosion band putting on a flawless mechanical show. For me, it was like my own little Disneyland way out west in 1980s Northern Colorado. The smells, the laughter, the arcade lights, it was pure magic. You can read why it was so important to me here  in an old post from 2018. During the day, everything seemed perfectly normal. The animatronics danced, sang, and entertained without a hitch. Kids laughed. Parents relaxed. And employees went about their jobs without a second thought. But for the night shift, things were a little different. My brother had a friend named Rob who worked there and swore the animatronics “changed” after the doors were locked. “They would jerk or move suddenly. One night, someone was cleaning the stage when Mitzi, the cheerleading mouse, flailed her arm and knocked him off his feet. Sent him flying about four feet across the floor stage” I...

Growing up, I saw plenty of cereals trying to pass themselves off as “healthy,” but one always made me stop aghast in the cereal aisle. It didn’t look fun, it didn’t look kid friendly, it looked like something you would scoop into a bowl on the floor. When it first hit the market in 1977 , nothing else looked quite like it. That unforgettable champion was Cracklin’ Oat Bran . In fact, it actually stopped me in my tracks once again today in the supermarket some 48 years later.  I remember when this stuff showed up and how shocked I was that it was meant for actual human consumption. To my kid brain, it looked exactly like cat food. Same color, same shape, same energy. And it’s not like my mom fed us sugary junk. I grew up on Buckwheats and Wheaties, the classic “be good, eat this” cereals. But nothing in our pantry ever looked as aggressively adult as the Raisin Bran, Total, and Special K lineup. Those were the cereals that felt like they came with tax advice. Fast forward to toda...

It's inevitable.  This time of year I end up watching Home Alone about a hundred and fifty times.  Home Alone had some incredible product placement throughout the movie, and.. every time I see those products, it gets me missing them.   Here they are.. 1.)  Crunch Tators In the scene when Kevin is eating junk and watching rubbish i.e.; 'Angels With Filthy Souls' , you can see a bag of 'Crunch Tators' sitting on the end table next to him.  Made by Frito-Lay and sold during the late 80s and early 90s, these chips were incredible!  I absolutely loved these super crispy potato chips!  While I was actually more partial to the jalapeno flavored version, the Mesquite flavor was good as well.  They had an incredible crunch and we're pretty much the precursor to kettle-cooked potato chips.  I really miss these chips and have wished for years that Frito-Lay would bring them back for the masses to enjoy. 2.)  Micro M...

Red Baron vs Tombstone Pizza Taste Test As I discovered in my recent blog post..  Finding Comfort in the Worst Pizza You’ve Ever Had , a pizza doesn’t have to be fancy to bring comfort and good memories. Frozen pizza nights have always been part of growing up, whether it was a late night in college, a quick Friday dinner, or just a snack when nothing else sounded good. Today we’re putting two classic favorites head to head Red Baron and Tombstone to see which one comes out on top in flavor, ease, and nostalgia. From the first bite to the last, these pizzas are more than just convenience food.. they also bring a little slice of memory. Packaging and Presentation Red Baron keeps it simple with that classic red box and logo you know from the freezer aisle. Tombstone goes a little bigger with bold colors and promises of "bold flavors." Both are easy to find and fun to open, but I always get a little more excited about that Tombstone box. Something about it just feels more like...

If you grew up in the 70s, 80s, or even the 90s, you probably remember the same two bar soaps sitting on just about everyone’s bathroom counter: Irish Spring and Zest . Both were cheap, loud, memorable, and built their entire reputations on commercials that drilled their slogans straight into our brains. And because I’ve been on a little “old-school grooming” kick, I decided to go full retro and test them head-to-head again. I used each bar for over a week , real shower use, real Florida sweat, real life.. to see which one actually performs the best in 2025. Spoiler: one of them still holds the crown until someone proves me wrong. Irish Spring: The Heavy Hitter The classic version Irish Spring has always been the in-your-face, hit-you-with-a-green-brick-of-clean kind of soap. And honestly? It still is. What I Tested Daily showers Working outside Sweat-heavy days Multiple hand washes What I Noticed Cleaning power: Irish Spring still cuts through everything! Swea...

II almost bought a gigantic gummy bear today. I picked it up, admired it, imagined the pure childhood joy of tearing into it… and then I did something horrifyingly adult: I put it back on the shelf and kept walking. While I’m proud of myself for not succumbing to this ridiculous impulse buy, part of me scoffs and says, “Why the heck not? Be a little silly and ridiculous why dontcha?!” But the adult in me once again takes over and asks, “What are you gonna do… bite the head off of that giant gummy bear?.. then what?" Gummy candies are hands down my favorite type of candy. But this behemoth? I think it could be too much of a good thing. I’ve overdone it in the past with donuts and burgers the size of my head, and experience has taught me that more is not always better. When I was a kid? I fully believed adulthood meant unlimited bowls of cookies for breakfast , a fridge stocked with JOLT Cola & Mountain Dew, and a cabinet overflowing with cans of spray cheese...

Long before cable and satellite companies took over television, local TV networks ruled the airwaves. Outside of the twice-daily news broadcasts and the big prime-time shows from major networks, stations still had a ton of empty airtime to fill. And they got creative. Some stations simply leaned on endless reruns. But many produced their own original programming like morning kids’ shows, mid-morning talk shows, and, the crown jewel for many of us, the late-night hosted monster-movie and B-movie programs. This is exactly the category Big Chuck and Lil’ John fit into. The magic of Big Chuck and Lil’ John wasn’t just the movies they introduced. It was everything that happened around the movies. Right before and after the commercial breaks, the hosts really shined, riffing with each other, interacting with their small studio audience, and introducing the comedy skits they filmed ahead of time. The charm, the timing, the goofiness, it all blended into something uniquely local and unfor...

I’ve always had a tendency to come at things from a negative angle. Not because I want to, but because that’s what I was surrounded by growing up. It got ingrained in me. It’s not hardwired, but it’s been a default setting I’ve had to work really hard to change. A friend recently asked why I always jump to the worst case scenario before I make a decision. I told them it’s because I’m data driven. I play the odds. If something’s gone wrong 80 out of 100 times before, why would I expect anything different? They said something that really hit me.. “You throw that kind of energy out to the universe, and it comes right back.” I actually agree. I’ve known people who constantly talk about being unlucky, being born losers, and that nothing ever goes right for them. And it perpetuates that cycle. It’s like they’re magnetically attracting more of what they hate, just by believing that’s all they’ll ever get. I never went that far, but I did used to live by the motto.. “Expect the worst,...

If you grew up before the mid 2000's, there’s a good chance your morning cartoon lineup was powered by sugar and mascots. And few cereals hit that sweet spot better than Cookie Crisp. Back when I first wrote about the Cookie Crisp mascots in 2019, I had no idea it would take off the way it did. The post blew up with readers reminiscing about that wizard, that crook, that howling dog who made cookies for breakfast seem totally acceptable. But.. whether it’s a favorite cereal mascot or a classic frozen pizza like Red Baron and Tombstone , certain flavors and memories stick with us for decades. So here we are again, a few years later, with a fresh look at every Cookie Crisp mascot from the 1970s through today. No fluff, no filler. Just a nostalgic rewind through the mascots that made us yell “Cooooookie Crisp!” at the breakfast table. Cookie Jarvis — The Wizard of the 1970s Before the crooks, cops, and canines, Cookie Crisp started with a wizard. His name was Cookie Jarvis, and he...

Today was the day. The start of my new work week. The plan? Eat better. Eat earlier. Ease up on the coffee. Pack healthier lunches every day. Add more good options to dinner, no matter what I’m eating. And then, the old urge caught up with me. It wasn’t planned. I was just running late and didn’t have time to prep a healthy breakfast before leaving for work. And as it goes in modern life, McDonald’s is never far away. Now, I’m totally on board with eating less fast food. But if you know me, you know that the Egg McMuffin has always been my go-to for breakfast on the run. It’s got a decent protein to carb ratio, doesn’t wreck my calorie budget, and feels like the least guilty of the guilty pleasures. Anyway, on to the story. I pull into the first McDonald’s on my route, only to find both menu lanes packed. I could already tell it would be a 10 to 15 minute delay, which I technically had time for, but I wasn’t in the mood to risk it. So five miles down the road, I try another McDonald’s....

As I get older, it’s getting harder to justify a fast-food breakfast. I now skip the fried potatoes and greasy hash browns altogether, and lately, if I stop anywhere but McDonald’s, the sandwiches seem way too salty. It’s like they punch me in the mouth and spike my blood pressure 20 points. My go-to, as I’ve said many times before, is the McDonald’s Egg McMuffin. That got me thinking: I know McDonald’s is the healthiest breakfast sandwich among the major fast food chains, but I wanted to see how the Egg McMuffin really stacks up against other popular breakfast sandwiches (all of which I’ve eaten). Here are the numbers I found: 🥓 How the Egg McMuffin Stacks Up in 2025 When you’re talking fast food from the big chains.. McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, Hardee’s, Carl’s Jr., Bojangles, Whataburger, the Egg McMuffin still holds its own. Here’s a look at how it compares: McDonald’s — Egg McMuffin: ~310 calories, ~770 mg sodium. Simple ingredients, moderate calories, good protein. B...

  A Sip of Nostalgia: Coca-Cola’s Return to Cane Sugar Coca-Cola is bringing back its classic taste with real cane sugar in the U.S., and it’s a nostalgic game-changer for anyone who remembers the original flavor. Here are my memories of the sugary classic and what I think about this major development. The Sweet Comeback: Cane Sugar Coke Returns Coca-Cola has officially announced that it will begin rolling out a version of Coke made with real cane sugar in the United States. For decades, American Coke has been made with high fructose corn syrup, a change that started in the 1980s after a government sugar embargo made cane sugar too expensive for mass production. This new version is Coca-Cola’s answer to growing demand for more natural, nostalgic products. It’s set to appear later this year in select markets, starting with limited quantities in 12-ounce glass bottles that echo the look of the classic Coke many of us remember. Availability will expand gradually as bottlers adjust ...

  🎶 Top 10 Advertising Jingles That Live Rent-Free in My Head  The other day I was driving around running errands, and I passed a Burger King. The first thing that popped into my head? That classic line:  🎵 BK..  Have it your way  🎵 And just like that, I was humming it before I even hit the next red light. That’s when it hit me, there are certain people in advertising who are straight-up geniuses. I have a multitude of jingles from old TV and radio ads that will live permanently in my head, no matter how much I wish I could clear them out to free up some brain space. There’s no particular order here, I’m just plucking them straight out of my data banks. Let’s go. 1. The Big Mac Song (McDonald’s) 🎵 Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. 🎵 No shocker that this one’s first. Everyone who knows me knows I’m a huge McDonald’s fan, and this jingle is practically part of my DNA. I can’t even think of a...

It felt like 1986 all over again. The Broncos pulled off a comeback for the ages, storming back from a 19-point hole in the fourth quarter to beat the Giants 33–32 in Week-7. Rookie quarterback Bo Nix led the charge with a burst of pure Mile High magic that had longtime fans flashing back to the Elway era. There are certain games that feel less like football and more like a time warp. Sunday’s Broncos–Giants matchup was one of those. A 33–32 finish that felt plucked straight out of the old Mile High highlight reels, back when John Elway used to make the impossible look routine. For three quarters, Denver looked absolutely cooked. Zero points on the board, the Giants cruising along, fans shifting in their seats and wondering if maybe it was time to beat the traffic. And then, out of nowhere, the kid turned into a legend. Bo Nix, the rookie who’s been quietly finding his footing all season, suddenly looked like a quarterback possessed by the ghost of Denver comebacks past. Two rushing to...