When Did Fast Food Stop Being Fast?

 This morning I was sitting in the parking lot at Bojangles waiting for two BO-Berry biscuits.

Two.

Not a family meal. Not twenty sandwiches. Not some complicated special order with seventeen modifications.

Just two biscuits.

And as I pulled up to the drive thru window after already waiting in line, I heard those dreaded words that anybody who eats fast food has come to hate:

"Can you pull ahead and we'll bring it out shortly?"

Good Lord, how I've come to loathe that phrase.

Maybe my memory is failing me, but I grew up in the 1970s and 1980s and became an adult in the 1990s, and I honestly don't remember being told to pull ahead and wait for food every other time I went through a drive thru.

Back in the day they'd take your order, take your money, hand you your food, and you'd drive away.

That was the whole concept.

Fast food.

Now they take your money and then send you into a parking lot with no clue whether you're going to be waiting two minutes or twenty.

As I write this, I've been sitting here for over nine minutes waiting for two biscuits with a little icing drizzled on top.

Somehow this has become normal.

In fact, many chains have built it right into the business model. There are entire sections of parking lots now dedicated to people who have already ordered, already paid, and are now waiting.

Can we even call it fast food anymore?

Maybe we should call it "pay first and we'll get around to it eventually food."

What irritates me most is that the customer is expected to absorb all the inconvenience.

You wait in line to order..
You wait in line to pay..
Then you're told to pull into a parking space and wait some more.

Maybe you've only got fifteen minutes before work, or you're running errands. Maybe you just wanted a quick coffee and breakfast sandwich. Well that's a shame. Because now your schedule belongs to the drive thru.

And don't even get me started on mobile ordering apps.

When those first came out, I thought they were going to be revolutionary. I remember thinking, "This is fantastic. I'll order ahead, show up, grab my food, and be on my way." Boy was I wrong.

Half the time you place your order fifteen or twenty minutes in advance, drive to the restaurant, and they don't even start preparing it until you arrive.

Then they send you to one of those designated waiting spots while they finish making the food you ordered twenty minutes ago.

How exactly is that progress?

One place that actually seems to understand convenience is Little Caesars.

I place my order on the app, I choose a pickup time, and when the pizza is ready, I get a notification. I simply walk in, enter my code at the Pizza Portal, the little door pops open, I grab my pizza, and I'm gone.

No waiting.

No guessing.

No sitting in a parking lot staring at my dashboard wondering if they've forgotten about me.

That's what technology is supposed to do.

That's what automation is supposed to accomplish.

It's supposed to make life easier.

It's supposed to streamline the process.

Instead, a lot of modern fast food feels like it's been optimized for the restaurant instead of the customer.

The wait hasn't disappeared, it's just been moved.

What's funny is that this whole trend has actually helped me cut back on fast food.

There have been plenty of times I've driven past a restaurant, thought about stopping for a quick bite, saw the line wrapped around the building, and decided it simply wasn't worth the hassle.

Nothing makes a burger less appealing than realizing you're about to spend half your lunch break trying to get it.

Maybe that's the silver lining.

The older I get, the less patience I have for sitting around in parking lots waiting on food that was supposed to be fast in the first place.

We were told technology would save us time. Instead, we're checking apps, entering codes, scanning QR menus, creating accounts, tracking orders, and sometimes still sitting in a parking lot waiting for a sandwich.

If all this technology is supposed to save time, why does it feel like I'm spending more time than ever just trying to buy lunch? Maybe it’s time I slow down and stop expecting the food I order to be fast all the time. Lately I've been skipping it more and more, so maybe I should lean into that. Heck.. Might even make me healthier, and probably a little more patient in the long run.