The Retro Dad

  Here it is.  A last minute project I finished just minutes before my first period biology class in 8th grade.   I had a full week and a three day weekend to complete my construction of a plant cell, but as so many kids do.. I put it off and forgot about it until I woke up on Monday morning.   At 6:30 a.m. I ran out to my old man's wood shop, and started scrounging for anything I could find.  I needed to construct something.. anything , so as not to get a big fat zero in the grade book.  I grabbed a piece of pine half buried beneath a pile of sawdust, and ran inside.  I scarfed down a bowl of Wheaties, got dressed, grabbed a hand full of markers, and ran to the bus stop. After I boarded the school bus, I opened up my biology textbook, sat it next to me on the seat, and quickly began to transfer the likeness of a plant cell to the piece of pine on my lap.  It wasn't until trying to draw on a school bus, that I realized how b...

Congas and bongos As a kid, I loved watching I Love Lucy reruns.  My favorite segments of the show were of Desi Arnaz performing in his nightclub The Tropicana. I was always enthralled with the skill and passion that Desi Arnaz oozed while singing and playing his percussion instruments. I've never been an aspiring musician, but have always had the inkling to take up a musical instrument.  I've messed around with a few musical instruments in my time, but those from the percussion family have always been my favorites.  I did recently buy a modest pair of bongos, and really dig playing around with them.  Playing them feels so natural, and whenever I lay into them, beats come to mind out of nowhere.  Arranging them into rhythmic time with my hands, feels almost as easy as breathing.  I'm not entirely sure why I didn't get into trying my hand at them years ago, but better late than never. A Ukelele I'd love to own a ukulele, and learn how to play...

As a young boy, my friends and I would greet each other on occasion with an exuberant "How do you doooooooo?"   What's more, we always did so in our best fake foreign accents.  We had all heard our older siblings, uncles, fathers, actors, comedians, and cartoon characters utter this very phrase.  However, none of us knew where said phrase came from.  Heck..  I've wondered where the phrase originated from for most of my life.  Now.. thirty some odd years later, I finally put two and two together and figured out the mystery. One of my favorite XM Satellite radio stations is Radio Classics, which plays old time radio shows non stop.   While listening to one of my favorite shows called Duffy's Tavern .. a character whom bar patrons referred to as The Mad Russian, uttered "How do you Dooooooooo?" as he entered the bar, bring an instantaneous roar of laughter from the audience.  It was during the shows closing credits, that I learned the part of...

I'm old school. I know know it, I'm fine with it, and I own it. This old school attitude also carries over into my linguistics, and I occasionally catch young punks people off guard with older sayings I utter. It didn't dawn on me until recently, that many of the phrases I use are quite old. I guess it should come as no surprise, because my parents and grand parents are where I learned most of them. In no particular order, here are some old sayings I truly miss hearing but still use on a regular basis. Fair to Middlin' My grandfather used to love this one.  When I'm asked how I'm doing by an older person, or a Good Ol' Boy from down south or back east, I respond with "Fair to Middlin'". They get a kick out of it, and they totally recognize the old saying. Apparently the word Middling had to do with the best grade of cotton in the old days. Therefore, Fair to middlin' means you're somewhere between fair and very good.   ...