Wanted one as a kid.. still want one today. (The Millennium Falcon)


I saw this at Toys-R-Us last year, and was immediately transported back to 1977..



2013 Millennium Falcon with retro packaging


I truly coveted this toy when I was seven years old!  I must admit that if I had an extra $250.00 lying around, I would have been toting one of these home with me.  My Mother bought me all manner of Star Wars action figures and ships from 1977 to 1983.  She spent so much time hunting for the plastic gold, that she actually started becoming  a Star Wars toy expert in her own right!



 1977 packaging


The Millennium Falcon was always my holy grail of STAR WARS toys, but it cost a pretty penny back in 1977 as well (around $25.00 - $35.00).  Considering that you could fill up your car with gasoline for about ten dollars.. thirty bucks was a good chunk of change.  Even at a young age I understood the value of a dollar, so I never begged my Mom to buy me one.

STAR WARS was my life as a kid, and I have a lot of great memories from those years.  I have some STAR WARS items in my collection today, but nothing that could hold a candle to the stockpile of items I had back in the 70s.  I've thus far kept from going crazy and buying all kinds of STAR WARS items, but I find myself as of late feeling the strong urge to buy back some of my youth.  It's like some kind of strange force (pun intended) is coaxing me to do so.

Who knows.. with the new movies coming out, the hype and excitement very well might have me spending some of my hard earned clams on the franchise once again.



San Diego Zoo 1972. My how things have changed.

From my family archives of slides I've converted into digital format, here's a few pics that my old man snapped in 1972 during a family visit to the San Diego Zoo.


"Ha.. Lookit the stupid monkey!  Ha Ha.. he wants my food but can't reach it.. Ha Ha Ha!.. I could do this all day!"

Geezaloo! This is the kind of person you'd like to see step a little too close to the cage.  I can just picture Bonzo grabbing a handful of her hair and pulling her face right up against the wire mesh, while his cellmates rummage through her lovely macrame purse.


What better way is there to honor the majestic beauty of a fifty year old Galápagos Tortoise, than by letting hundreds of children (and assuredly a few immature adults) knock, jump, and stand on his back every day?!?
That's every day..
ten hours a day... 
360 plus days a year...



I'll tell ya.. I DO love a good stage show where your emcee places his head inside of a Bengal Tigers mouth.  The scrawny chicken wire fence also adds an air of excitement and danger when you're sitting in the front row with your kids. 

Yes, things have changed considerably since the early 70s.  And in the case of Animal welfare in the U.S., they've changed for the better.  I'm sure giant Galápagos Tortoises nationwide will agree.



1977 Disco hit - "Ain't gonna bump no more" by Joe Tex


Yes friends.. it's another edition of "Crap that's stuck in my head".  This tidbit comes directly from the music file in my memory banks.  When I was seven years old, I vividly remember a song that took the Disco world by storm.  The song is called "Ain't gonna bump no more (with no big fat woman)".

You see, back in the 70's there was a dance phenomenon known as "The Bump".  This dance basically consisted of dance partners bumping their hips (and sometimes other body parts) in sync with the music they were dancing to.  "Ain't gonna bump no more" was singer Joe Tex's account of what happened one night in a disco when he was doing the bump with a larger than life gal.

My friends would laugh their heads off whenever this song came on the radio.  I also remember Joe Tex performing this song on all kinds of television shows of the day.  My brother owned the album and we'd play it over and over, giggling for the duration of the song.  Heck.. my parents would even reluctantly crack a smile when they'd hear it.

Here's a YouTube video with pretty good sound quality so you can listen to the lyrics.  Listed below the video are the lyrics, so you can memorize the song and sing it at your leisure!




 
 
Ain't Gonna Bump no More lyrics -

Three nights ago I was at a disco
Man, I wanted to bump, I was rarin' to go
And this big fat woman, bumped me on the floor
She was rarin' to go, that chick was rarin' to go

Man she did a dip, almost broke my hip
She was gettin' down, that chick was gettin' down
She wanted to bump some more, but I told her, no
You done knocked me down once

You done knocked me down once
Said, if you want to dance
Find you a big fat man
Ya'll both can get on down
Ya'll both can get on down, huh


I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
Lord, I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman


Somebody take her
She's too big for me
She'll knock me down
She came over to me, snatched me out of my seat
She wanted to get on down, still wanted to get on down
I told her to go on and leave me alone
I ain't gettin' down
You done hurt my hip once


I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
Lord, I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
I ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman


Somebody take her, I don't want her
She done hurt my hip, she done knocked me down
Done hurt my hip, she done knocked me down
Somebody take her, I don't want her
Say, Leroy, you can have this one, dude
This big fat woman, dude
I don't want her

 
On a side note.. Joe Tex had a distinct style of singing where he actually talked over his music.  He described this style of singing as "Rap".  From my research, it appears that he was the first artist ever to describe this style of music in this way.

Back in 1970..


1970.. the year I was born.  Things have really changed since then, and below are a few examples of just how much, as well as some notable events that took place during that year...



Cost of living:

One gallon of milk cost $1.32

A loaf of bread cost .24 cents

A new automobile cost $2,500.00

A gallon of gas was .40 cents

A new home was $40,000.00

The average income was $8,933.00



  • Paul McCartney announces he's leaving the Beatles just prior to the band's release of their final album "Let it Be"
  • Surety National Bank in Los Angeles installs the very first ATM machines.
  • Element 105 Hahnium is discovered by scientists at UC Berkeley
  • Millions of Americans demonstrate in rallies across the country for Earth Day


Sports:

The Baltimore Orioles won the World Series over the Reds in five games

The New York Knicks beat the L.A. Lakers in the NBA Championship

Brazil won the World cup in Mexico

Al Unser wins the Indy 500

A horse called Dust Commander wins the Kentucky Derby

The Kansas City Chiefs win the Super Bowl over the Minnesota Vikings 23-7



Popular music:

"ABC" - The Jackson Five

"American Woman" - The Guess Who

"Close to you" - The Carpenters

"Let it Be" - The Beatles

"Mama told me" - Three Dog Night

"Venus" - Shocking Blue



My Old Man's retro means of re-purposing

My Dad just can't bring himself to throw out anything that's still useful.  Check out a few of the recycled items in his garage which help him keep it tidy and organized..



Old Cigar Box
(houses how to books and manuals)


Ammunition cases from Vietnam
(hold power tools)


Dustpan
(I think that's the license plate from my 1st car)



Retro bean dip, peanut, and Intentional Delight cans
(contain all manner of hardware etc)



Old Sucrets tin
(holds razors and sharp blades)


These are just a few of the creative ways my old man re-purposes useful items.  There's no doubt in my mind that Dad has an incredibly smaller carbon footprint than I, and it's inspired me to be ever the more resourceful, thrifty, and green. 



Stumped while Retro treasure hunting


It's not too often that I get stumped identifying items while perusing the aisles of flea markets, thrift stores, or antique malls.  However, late last year I came across an item that had me a bit perplexed.  Check it out..





It's a sculpture of some cat with a fu manchu sitting in a red chair, atop a cracked piece of ground with patches of grass.  Furthermore, he has a ciggy in his mouth, a sack full of who knows what in his left hand, and something resembling a spike free chain mace in his right hand. It wasn't very old, was cast out of resin, and had no trademarks on it whatsoever.



What may even be more perplexing, is that there were three of these puppies on the shelf.  Who is this cat?  What's in the bag?  What's that in his other hand?  Is he some sort of Spanish Godfather? Officiant? Gaucho? Banker?

I'm sure there's a simple answer, but for the life of me I can't find one.  Any ideas? 



Forgotten Folk - Tiny Tim

All of my life Tiny Tim has been somewhat of a mystery wrapped in an enigma.  He was primarily known for singing classic songs in a high falsetto voice while playing his ukulele.  I remember masses of people (my folks included) adamantly professing that they weren't Tiny Tim fans, but being glued to the television whenever he appeared on shows like Johnny Carson or Laugh In.  Case in point.. 40 million viewers tuned in to see Tiny Tim marry his first wife "Ms. Vicki" on the Johnny Carson Show.  I remember folks talking about that event for an entire decade after it happened. It was the most viewed televised wedding of all time, and remained so until 1982 when the Princess Diana and Prince Charles wedding garnered 750 million viewers worldwide.

After hours of research, I learned Tiny Tim was much more than a funny looking outrageous performer, and feel it my duty to share what I've learned to help enlighten the masses.

Who is Tiny Tim?
Herbert B. Khaury was born on April 12, 1932, and passed away on December 1, 1996.  As a young boy, he immersed himself in classic American music from the 1940's all the way back to the 1800's.  His idols were performers such as Al Jolson, Henry Burr, Rudy Vallee, Irving Kaufman, and Bing Crosby just to name a few.  He was inspired in the 1940's by musical artist Arthur Godfrey, bought his book "You too can play ukulele", and succinctly taught himself how to play the instrument.

The stage name "Tiny Tim" was concocted one night when his manager booked him to perform at a venue that was known for musical and comedy acts performed by little people. Performing or not, Tiny Tim was seldom found without his trusty ukulele.  Tiny's receptacle of choice that he would carry it around in, was usually a paper bag.  Pulling his ukulele from the bag would always get chuckles and laughs from the audience.

His Music
Tiny Tim is probably best known for his remake of the 1926 hit song "Tiptoe through the tulips".  But many find it surprising that he didn't always sing with the high falsetto voice he became so widely known for.  Tiny Tim only sang in his natural voice which was quite lovely, during the early part of his career.  By chance, he started experimenting with his voice and discovered he could sing in an incredibly high pitch as well.  It wasn't until he entered a talent show and performed with his high voice that his career skyrocketed.


Performance of Tiptoe through the Tulips on Johnny Carson
This song hit #17 on the music charts in 1968




My favorite Tiny Tim song has to be Livin' in the sunlight, Lovin' in the moonlight.  The song was originally made famous by Maurice Chevalier back in 1930.  Once you listen to it, you'll swear that it's the perfect song for the optimists of the world.  Tiny Tim was introduced to a whole new generation when this very song was used on the first ever episode of Sponge Bob Square pants. Its for this reason that my kids and many of their friends are now well aware of who Tiny Tim is. 






Tiny Tim in the movie - An Odd Thought 
He plays the part of an eccentric curio shopkeeper to a tee.




What the heck was up with the weird guy act?
Tiny Tim himself said that he was "the master of confusion" and nobody really knew who he was. I've noticed this statement still stands true to this day.  It's obvious Tiny Tim had talent, so what was with the weirdo shtick?  Quite simply, Tiny Tim stuck with what worked for him, and that weirdness factor gained him a cult following that exists to this day.

After hours of reading and viewing virtually every Tiny Tim website and video on the internet, I've come to the conclusion that Tiny Tim's weird guy act was sheer genius.  It was said by friends and those who knew him, that the weird guy persona was completely opposite of who Tiny Tim really was.  If you ever heard him when he was out of character, it was incredibly evident that he was an intelligent man who was nothing short of a walking encyclopedia when it came to old songs and classic American music.

A Good Egg
Contrary to what many believe, Tiny Tim never fell into the snare of drugs or substance abuse.  He also had an immense respect for his elders, those whom he greatly admired, and his fellow man.  Once while appearing with Bing Crosby on television, Tiny Tim repeatedly kept addressing him as "Mr. Crosby". When told that it was okay for him to refer to him as Bing, Tiny Tim did... as "Mr. Bing".   Tiny Tim also prided himself on his relationship with God, and his belief that Jesus was his savior.  In the 90's during a visit on the Howard Stern show, he was offended by Howard Stern and the staff using Jesus name in vain, and refused to appear on the show again.

The more videos I watched of Tiny Tim, the more evident it became that he was a kind, respectful, compassionate human being.  It got to the point during my online research that I was actually enthralled by watching him in everyday situations.  I once saw a video clip where he was doing some shopping in Des Moines Iowa, for a St. John's Bay lined flannel shirt which he was quite enthusiastic about.  I kind of get that, because St John's Bay does make a heck of a shirt. My old man had some St. John's Bay flannel that seemed like it was indestructible, and is probably still in his closet to this day!  It was also interesting to see how gracious he was while interacting with the store staff, and fans that asked him for autographs.

Below are two video clips of Tiny Tim on "The Coca Crystal show" during Veteran's Day 1981.  This Manhattan based public access show ran for about thirteen years, and was the type of show that the SNL Wayne's World skits were based off of.  I believe Coca Crystal was expecting Tiny Tim to bring some real weirdness to the show, but other than his cheap suit and enormous bow tie, he was very even keeled and professional.  When asked to perform, he even insisted on singing old American standards dedicated to our veterans.









Tiny's last call
In September 1996, Tiny Tim suffered a heart attack at a ukulele festival in Massachusetts just as he was beginning to perform.  He was hospitalized for about three weeks, and was strongly encouraged to no longer perform.  Being the entertainer he was, he decided to play at a benefit ball for The Woman's Club of Minneapolis two months later.  While performing on stage, he again suffered another heart attack and died later that night in the hospital.

Call Tiny Tim what you will, but it's become obvious to me that he indeed had talent, and an incredible knack for giving people what they wanted.  What's more.. he was truly a decent human being, which always goes a long way with me personally.

Tiny Tim went from making $50,000 a week in Vegas at the height of his career, to at times accepting free dinners as forms of payment for appearances. However, no matter where his career was at any given time, he always expressed that he was thankful for everything he's experienced. Sadly, just as interest in Tiny Tim was once again on the rise, and many new bands were seeking to do collaborations with him, his life was cut short at the age of 64.  Word has it that there is a movie in the works based on Tiny Tim's life, and if it comes to fruition, I'll be one of the first in line to see it.

With that, I leave you with a final Tiny Tim video displaying what he did best.. making people laugh, all the while making them wonder.. "What the heck?"





Retro Swiss Miss instant Cocoa packaging


Check out the wicked cool Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa packaging I picked up recently.  The limited edition throwback art, took me right back to when I was a kid in the 70s and 80s.



Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate






 Current Swiss Miss Packaging
(Not quite as rich and unique as the old timey designs)


While I remember the box design changing through the years, I used to always dig the Swiss looking typeset used for the logo, the box's border design, and of course that little claymation Swiss girl that would happily yodel and sing the Swiss Miss jingle.

If you never had the pleasure of seeing the commercials, or just need your memory jogged, you can check out an old commercial below..